Who’d A Thunk It?

Despite the crows, despite the rabbits, despite the aching back, the sodden ground, the slugs and the seemingly relentless wind, I have managed to grow enough flowers to do my first farmers’ market. Admittedly most of the flowers were from the garden and allotment rather than the field specifically cultivated for the project, and there was a fair amount of foliage and “terribly tasteful” wrapping to bulk things out, but I did it! The feedback was great – many people stopped to compliment the stall and chat even if they didn’t buy  (that old ruse!) – which really makes a difference. In fact the moment earlier that morning, at 1am in fact, when I realised I’d been working solidly for 20 hours without a break and decided that I’d done floristry, that I’d learnt all I needed, that I really didn’t need to pursue it any further, that my day job wasn’t actually that bad (based largely on the fact that it allows me to sit down), became a distant memory, dismissed with a rustle of rafia and tissue.

Am already panicking about next month.

 

 

 

 

I’m Gonna Get That Wabbit!

     Now the bloody netting’s been munched through!

                       

La Cage Aux Folles

OK, free day, good weather. Time to finally get the netting on the “fruit cage” sorted. Is going to be fab!

I will need:

More netting than you’ve ever seen before. Check.

Hammer and nails. Check.

Step ladder. Check.

OK, am sorted and, remember, invincible. Check.

First task – spread 600 metres of netting over field to try to cut it into five equal lengths. Time-consuming but not too annoying and things are looking good. Bundle up first 20-metre (ish) strip of netting, remove bits of dried sheep shit caught in it and climb step ladder to drape it over the middle strut. Climb back down ladder to unhook numerous areas where netting has become caught on bamboo canes. Climb back up ladder. Realise I don’t know if the netting is hanging evenly either side of the wood. Gather up netting and climb back down ladder.

Spread netting out again and do lots of seven-league-boot-”this must be about a metre”-stylee pacing to try to estimate the centre of each strip. Tie string at centre points. Gather up first strip again and climb up ladder no-handed. Jump off ladder sideways as one leg of step ladder sinks into the compost. Land on bum. Resuscitate sat-on plant and reposition ladder. Jiggle up and down on the first rung to make sure it’s secure and climb up again. Position netting roughly in place. Climb back down ladder to unhook netting from rough edges of the cheap wood which was all I could afford for the cage frame. Remember, I am invincible – hot, sweaty and more than a tad pissed off, but invincible.

Climb up ladder and bang in nails sort of anywhere as don’t really care any more. Balance hammer on top of ladder and climb down to admire work. Hmm – not bad. Move ladder to next position. Sit for five mins in baking sun nursing gash on head where hammer fell off ladder and embedded itself in scalp. Check mobile has reception in case am struck by combination of sun stroke and concussion alone in remote field.  (“Hello, which service do you require?” “Grrgh-kkccuuuuck-aargh-gh-gh-g…” Thank God I had my mobile on me.)

Bundle up next strip and climb up ladder to position it. Bang in first nail. Drop hammer. Climb down ladder. Bend down to pick up hammer. Retrieve eyeball from top of bamboo cane. Climb back up ladder. Drop only nail left in my pocket. Climb down ladder. Climb up ladder. Climb down ladder. Climb up. Climb down. Up. Down. Up. Down…

Repeat ad darkness. Sulk.

OK, so I’ll be invincible tomorrow.