Flowers For Men

July 6, 2011 at 11:28 am 12 comments

Yesterday I sent some flowers to Dorset wedding photographer Courtenay Hitchcock of Courtenay Photographic. He had recommended me to some clients getting married next year at Athelhampton House and I just wanted to say thanks.  I rarely go anywhere these days without a gift of flowers and so my natural instinct was to send a bouquet.

But then a male friend said something to the effect of  “Sending flowers to a man – isn’t that a bit risky?” It had never really struck me that that might be weird, and it got me wondering. Is it?

The men I come across when I’m doing my weddings seem to enjoy the excuse to wear some flowers. Sometimes the groom doesn’t come to the flower consultations at all, and occasionally you get one who comes but asks if it would be terribly rude if he sat in the car while we discussed the details, but often they seem to take a genuine interest in, at the very least, what will be in their buttonhole.

My own male friends and acquaintances tend to be pretty rounded, reconstructed types – and quite a few of them gay – so any inherent male need to present a macho front is not something I’ve ever really come across, but perhaps my impressions are skewed by that. I also realise that any men reading this are probably only here because they’re keen on flowers, but I would still be really interested to know how you feel if you are given flowers. Is it lovely? Or embarrassing? Do you read anything into it? Find it emasculating? Or is there a line which has to be carefully negotiated? Is a bunch of cornflowers for the table when I’m coming to tea OK, but a big bouquet wrapped in tissue paper on your birthday an entirely different matter?

And, women, do you buy men flowers? If so, just your partner, or would you risk buying them for somebody else’s?

Answers in the comments box, please. Courtenay, by the way (luckily), seemed thrilled.  And many thanks to him, too, for the fab photo.

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Bright And Beautiful… Somewhat Slack

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. sandra  |  July 6, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I must admit, I’ve never bought a man flowers, but am sure the new, literated, ‘in touch with their feminine side’ men of the next generation (me being of the one before) would love to get flowers. I’ll ask Josh and Ben and see what they think.

    Reply
    • 2. jwblooms  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:28 am

      Yes, I would be really interested to hear what the “young ones” think. Thanks, love. x

      Reply
  • 3. Belinda Norrington  |  July 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    Nothing like Bells of Ireland for a slightly, ahem, male note in a bouquet. I was going to go on to make a “Is that Bells of Ireland in your bouquet or are you just pleased to see me?”joke but I can’t bring myself to. Oh, I just did!!

    Most men I know are nervy about flounciness, so striking, plainish buttonholes etc are favoured.

    Thanks for the email earlier. xxx

    Reply
    • 4. jwblooms  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:31 am

      I didn’t realise until I read this that I subconsciously put the Bells of Ireland in to make it a bit more masculine – although now that you’ve pointed out the, er, interesting shape of the flower, I might be nervous about the men I’m giving them to inferring some unintended message! x

      Reply
  • 5. Martine  |  July 6, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    As a flower grower then nothing would be more natural than giving flowers, whether to man, woman or child. I must confess to only having given flowers to women, apart from as a gift to the host. Now that I grow them though, I would feel okay about giving them to men as a gift.

    Reply
    • 6. jwblooms  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:33 am

      I think you’re right that being a grower gives us a get-out clause if sending the wrong message is a risk – handy! x

      Reply
  • 7. Benjamin Ranyard  |  July 7, 2011 at 8:43 am

    I gave some flowers to my male neighbour last week, in front of his girlfriend…he didn’t know where to look! Until that point it hadn’t crossed my mind that it was a ‘girlie’ thing to do…growing the buggers certainly hasn’t been.
    More interestingly for me is giving flowers to women when there is no hidden agenda. I give several bunches a week away. Other than my very close girl friends it is IMPOSSIBLE to hand a woman flowers without their being some sort of ‘moment’….naturally I both play on that and enjoy it…it’s all the fun of the fair. I cause trouble by giving flowers to women whose partners haven’t bought them flowers for decades…keeps the blokes on their toes.
    Flowers carry great power….and I chose to use them for dark magic. ;) xx

    Reply
    • 8. jwblooms  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:37 am

      Ha! I know what you mean about the ‘moment’. A male friend once asked me to do a bouquet for a woman he knew which conveyed ‘thank you’ but definitely not ‘I fancy you’. I’m not sure how it went when he gave them to her, but I did advise him not to look directly into her eyes when he handed them over! I love the fact that you are giving women flowers to keep their partners on their toes. You are very mischievous, Mr Higgledy – you want to be careful you don’t get bopped on the nose at some point! x

      Reply
  • 9. Martine  |  July 7, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Oh, I just remembered that I tried to give a stranger a bunch of flowers the other week as I had parked badly in front of his house whilst delivering bouquets to the shop. There were reasons for this, to do with builders’ lorries and dustcarts but that is another story.

    Anyway, he couldn’t get his car into the space and I happened to have a bunch of flowers in my hand as he was telling me what a bad day he was having. Naturally I offered the flowers to cheer him up, he was rather astonished but declined, saying that they were much too nice and that he was already in enough trouble with his girlfriend! I had to agree that trying to explain that a woman he had never met before had given him flowers in the street might not help matters!

    Laughing at your ‘moment’ comment Ben, as indeed it was one of those!

    Reply
    • 10. jwblooms  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:38 am

      I bet the fact that you just offered them to him secretly made his day! x

      Reply
  • 11. Mairi  |  November 23, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    When I shared a house with a friend who had a young son (under 10), I used to give him a flower, usually a rose, on his birthday every year. He liked it, anyway.

    Reply
    • 12. jwblooms  |  November 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm

      Hi, Mairi – how lovely to hear from you! Your friend’s son sounds a fine boy and I’m presuming he’s grown into a very well-balanced man in touch with his feminine side! Hope you’re well and happy. Janet

      Reply

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